I discovered that when you are starting your own project, life is going to be full of highs and lows. Plenty of highs and lows during a short period of time.
If you work really, really hard and you know your business, you tend to reach people who are The Ones to talk to in the business. In my case that would be important publishers. And if they happen to say “wow, you have a product there” you are at the highest of highs.
That doesn’t mean you have made it, though. It only means that maybe you haven’t been wasting your time.
Success is such a beautiful word and it means to each of us a different thing. While I have been successful in one or two things, the one thing that truly matters to me which is being a successful writer and publisher is proving to be an uphill battle.
There are days I just want to give up and ask myself why would I be successful where many, many others have not.
After a year and half of concentrating solely on books, publishing and meeting with people, it proved to be a financial strain, so I took up a job.
I thought about quiting on my dreams and on my hard work, but because I have had positive meetings, I just couldn’t give up.
Every evening after 5.30 I go to my other job, where I write draw and make books till 10pm. There are nights I get so tired I just want to cry, but that would mean I am letting self pity take over me and I don’t want to do that. If I am not strong enough to believe I can make it, I will pretend to believe until I am able to make it. Will I have to pretend my whole life? It’s an option I am willing to live with.
I have been writing lately for Time Out Beirut. My latest piece was about adults believing in Santa. The article basically says that adults write to Santa as a way to visualize their goals.
That’s a good idea. I won’t send a letter but I going to write something here for Santa:
Adult life sucks. I wish I hadn’t had to work this hard.
P.S I have been good, I swear.